Take a trip to the local ice cream shop and enjoy a treat while you talk about this!
Assuming that you have no commitments, would you take a nap, enjoy a hobby, go for a walk, etc...?
Where would you live if you could choose anywhere in the world, and why?
What activities do you enjoy most during that time?
Do you prefer florals, spices, or more natural scents?
What are your favorite techniques to de-stress?
Do you have any comfort foods?
If so, what are they? When do you find that you want to indulge in them? Share this with your mate.
What types of sweets do you enjoy the most? Candy, chocolate, pie, cake, pastries, etc.... When do you find that you need a 'sweets fix'?
Do you like to take naps?
We all detested them as children, but they definitely hold more appeal once we've had several long days at work, or after a sleepless night.
Do you get up and read, watch TV, etc... or do you just stay in bed tossing and turning?
What are your favorite ones where you think you have a really good fit?
What are they? Do you have any thoughts of someday working for a church in some capacity? Share these things with your mate!
(It thickens as it mixes with water and will clog your pipes)
Chat about this with your mate and find out which ones you each are most suited for completing.
Talk about emotional security and intimacy... how do you each view this, and what is it to each of you?
These two are topics which you may need to think about and visit again in the future, but they are most definitely things you will want to discuss, so don't put it off for too long.
(Once you do, you'll never go back to keeping them in the pantry. As soon as we bring them home from the store, they go straight to the freezer.)
Talk about New Year's Eve and Day... what do you typically do on these
Do you prefer to attend a celebration or have a quiet evening at home? Do you make New Year's resolutions? If you do, what are some of the resolutions you have made, and how hard did you work at keeping them through the new year? Have fun discussing this and sharing your thoughts with your mate.
Does a trip to Home Depot set your mind racing? Or is Hobby Lobby more your style? Perhaps an auto parts store holds more interest for you. Talk about the types of creative projects you each enjoy.
Would you want to do anything special to celebrate Valentine's Day? Remember, romantic gestures don't necessarily need to be extravagant or pricey, just thoughtful!
Does he prefer action/adventure or mystery/suspense... does she like romantic comedies or perhaps historical documentaries.... talk about what some of your favorites are and why.
What were some of your favorite movies when you were growing up, or in your young adult years?
What types of TV shows are your favorites now?
Talk about that, and what you think have been some of the best series on television.
What do you do to prepare for working on your yearly tax return? (This can include things that you do throughout the year to make the actual filing process easier, or what you do at the beginning of each new year as you gather all the needed documents.)
Do you enlist the aid of a friend, or a professional tax consultant? Talk about your preferences when it comes to filing your income tax.
How would you describe your laugh?
Do you each agree with what the other has described?
What types of things really give you a good, long laugh? Share some of these fun stories with each other!
Are there any things you wish you could change? Think about how you speak to each other, act toward each other. How does your family handle conflict? What types of fun things does your family enjoy doing together?
Now share how you would envision family dynamics once you are married. Are you wanting and talking about the same types of things?
What would you choose to repeat? What would you choose not to repeat? What new activities would you consider adding?
Write them down and share them with your beloved… See how close you are in what you each desire in life. Talk about education, careers, family, church, ministry, etc…
Talk about how you think you act and respond to an illness that keeps you sidelined for a day or so. Does your response depend on the type of illness?
How do you currently categorize your relationship with your beloved? Does he or she fall into the highest priority, the lowest, or somewhere in between? It might be helpful to make notes on paper to track how much time you are spending on various activities.
Share with each other how you believe you will make (or are currently making) your relationship a very high priority.
Thinking about this question, I recall a lady I knew who loved walking into a room filled with people that she didn't know, so that she could wend her way through and meet them all, talking and learning something about each of them. This wasn't (and still isn't) my idea of fun.
What about you? What activities, (or lack of activities) recharge and energize you?
Do you currently play any musical instruments? If so, what are they? Share what instruments you used to play if you aren't playing any longer, and why you stopped. Would you ever like to play again?
Did you ever study or take music lessons? What kind, and for how long?
How about concerts, musicals, operas, the ballet, the symphony - do you enjoy any of these musical venues?
What sort of atmosphere do you prefer when you attend a live music event?
How do you each typically honor your mom and make her feel special on Mother's Day?
When do you prefer to read your Bible? What is your favorite style of worship? What are some of the most meaningful hymns or songs to you? Who are some of your favorite Christian speakers, preachers, teachers, and authors?
Check out the What's Happening Blog for more information on worship styles and how we all tend to be different.
After we first got married, my husband used to tease me a bit about wearing socks to bed... one night I didn't, and he didn't tease me any longer after that because he realized how very cold my feet tend to be. (He still calls them ice blocks - even in the middle of a Texas summer!)
What thoughtful things have you done for other people?
How do you demonstrate kindness and thoughtfulness to each other in this stage of your relationship?
Do you try to cook healthy meals? If so, how? (do you use organic or low fat/salt ingredients, etc...?)
Does taste matter above all else?
Do you prefer not to cook, and buy frozen meals/ingredients?
Share with each other your thoughts on this subject, and then perhaps treat each other to your favorite home-cooked meal!
What are your preferred methods to do this? (Sit in front of the TV and do nothing else? Engage in some sort of creative outlet? Bake? Eat? Exercise? Read books?)
Share these things with each other.
Share with each other some of your favorite memories of Independence Day celebrations and family traditions.
What are your plans for July 4th this year?
At what temperature and heat index point do you declare that it's just too hot to spend much time outside?
If you could choose a perfect outdoor year round temperature, what would it be?
Which one of you will be the one to track and remember to make yearly appointments for the HVAC system check up? (Remember, you need one in the fall for the furnace, and one in the summer for the air conditioner.)
What about pest control and a yearly termite inspection? Can you think of any other yearly to-do items?
Talk about these issues and which one of you would seem to be best suited to take care of monitoring and scheduling them.
Think about your favorite to order at restaurants.... your favorite to make at home.... your favorite seasonal desserts.....
Share these 'sweet nuggets' of information with each other, the memories that come along with them, and perhaps do some sampling as well.
If you eat meat, what are your favorites to enjoy with pasta? (chicken, Italian sausage, pork, meatballs - and do you prefer these to have been soaked in the sauce or not, etc...)
What are your favorite pasta sauces? Share all these things with each other, and perhaps spend some time letting each other sample your favorite Italian dishes.
What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it feel like?
Define what good communication skills are to you, and share your answers with each other.
What are the different levels of trust? How do you personally move from one level to the next?
What does trust mean to you? How do you demonstrate and communicate trust with others?
What about when trust is broken, on whatever level... how do you deal with that?
Unity is so important in marriage.
Discuss with each other what you believe unity is... how do you demonstrate it to your beloved, and to the world around you.
What does unity look like? What does it feel like? Does it mean being in total agreement on everything, or is it an agreement to respect the other when you don't quite agree on some minor issues? Have a good chat...
What are your thoughts regarding the public school system vs. home schooling?
Do you know anyone who has been home schooled? (Colleges actually like home schoolers!)
Talk about home schooling and if it is something that you would be interested in doing some day.
Talk about what you each perceive are your personality types and how you are alike and different in that regard.
This can be a very enlightening conversation as we often are attracted to someone who is a complete opposite in the area of personality. Talk about how this can help to bring balance to our lives.
Talk about your likes and/or dislikes for this time of the year.
* What seasonal activities do you participate in?
* Do you begin planning for the holidays? (If so, how?)
* If you could plan a trip for this time of the year, where would you want to go?
* Are you a football fan who has been anticipating the new season?
Are you someone who enjoys this type of activity? Would you rather be selling or shopping? Would you prefer to just skip this kind of event? Are you always on the lookout for a good buy?
Do you have a rule about how much you will spend at a garage sale, or what types of things you might buy?
How do you decide what you will participate in - or not?
What if one of you has a great opportunity, but participation means it will somehow impact your beloved, or at least your time availability with your beloved?
How large or small do you envision the ceremony and reception being?
How would you plan on paying for everything? (dress, rings, food, musicians, church, pastor, etc... included)
Choose three, or five, or ten... then share your answers with each other.
Which are your favorite teams and why? Do you prefer college football or professional football? Would you rather watch games from the stadium or on TV?
Talk about what really makes that holiday special for you. (ex. For my husband, it's enjoying his mother's cornbread dressing. For me, it's enjoying my mother's bread stuffing. Turkey is a plus, but this is what we each like to see on the table.)
Don't limit yourself to what you eat, though.... are there any special activities you participate in by yourself or as a family?
Do you each celebrate the season of Advent? If so, how?
Share with each other what your thoughts are regarding Advent.
Do you spend lots of time planning for these coming weeks, or do you just kind of go with the flow?
Sit down with some hot chocolate or seasonally flavored coffee and have a chat about all of this with each other - enjoy!
Share your favorite Christmas CDs with each other and make a memory as you listen and chat about them.... remember that music can give you glimpse into the soul.
Firecrackers on New Year's Eve?
Do you reflect on the closing year and set goals for the new year?
Share with each other the things that you like to do at the beginning of a brand new year.
Do you like to take some time or sleep before making a big decision?
Share with each other some fun things that someone did for you, or that you did for someone else, which at some point, made a special memory for you.
Whether daily, 2 or 3 days per week, or once weekly...Is this something that you would consider doing, or not?
Would it depend on the movie? Are their some movies that you just 'have' to see on the big screen?
Chat about this for a bit and share your thoughts and feelings on this subject with each other.
Do you make lists or employ some other technique to help your memory? (Electronic devices, timers, sticky notes, etc...?)
Have you discussed this yet? Give it some thought, and then chat about it.
Do you find attending retreats to be refreshing and renewing, or would it be a somewhat agonizing type of event for you?
This could be anything from Good Friday activities or services to coloring eggs to an egg hunt for the children, to Easter dinner.
Think about it for a bit, perhaps share some stories, and find out what really makes Easter 'happen' for each other.
What are you favorite books of the Bible?
Do you like caring for houseplants or working in the garden? Are you a landscaper at heart?
Share your likes and dislikes about plants with each other.
Share how you pray for each other during the times you are apart.
Share your heart by sharing a few prayer requests with your beloved.
Share with each other how you honor your mother on Mother's Day.
Share with your beloved how you would answer this question.
If you want to make it a bit more fun, would you each like to take a few guesses on what the other would say and see how close to the mark you are?
Family History... Have you done any research into your family history?
If so, share with each other some of interesting or intriguing details you each discovered about your ancestors.
At what level of trust would you characterize your relationship right now?
Would you trust each other with any information, or are you still figuring out where this boundary lies?
Are you asking the Lord for wisdom and discernment in your relationship with each other as well as with others?
Do you enjoy playing games in which you must recall these bits of trivia?
Or are you someone who does not enjoy memorization or games such as these?
Share your preferences with each other.
There are so many different kinds of games...word games, money games, strategy games, card games, domino games, bidding games, etc...
Sit down together with a few of your favorite games and share why you like them - and of course, play them, too!
This week our church is hosting a VBS.
Did you ever attend Vacation Bible School or summer camp at church?
Have you ever volunteered to serve or chaperone at events like these?
If so, please share with each other the memories that stand out in your mind as you think about this.
Do you have a favorite flavor jam or jelly?
If so, what are your favorite ways to eat these tasty treats?
Perhaps set aside some time for a taste test so that you can share your favorites with each other.
Would you classify yourself to be a pessimist or an optimist?
Does this depend upon circumstances?
What situations or examples can you think of to share with your beloved?
Have fun sharing your answers with each other!
Let this discussion trickle over into all program updates, etc... Decide which of you is more suited to this task, or if it will be more of a 'whoever gets there first when it's needed' kind of activity.
If so, is the watch face on the outside of your wrist, or the inside?
Did you wear braces when you were younger?
Have you ever broken a tooth?
Or perhaps, while in the hospital and taking pain medication?
How easy or difficult is it for you to offer an apology, or accept an apology and offer forgiveness?
Does your inbox contain scores of emails that you need to respond to, or are you a person who likes to have an inbox that is as empty as possible?
Also - how much time do you allow each day to respond to email?
Are you good at keeping records....you know the kind about the last time you had the oil changed in your vehicle, or when you replaced the tires; when was the last time you completed yearly maintenance on the furnace or AC system?
Things like that... how good are you at keeping track of things like that? What is your system, if you use one?
We all have them, whether they are from our childhood, teen years, or adulthood.
Take a little trip down memory lane and share memories of these favorite shows with each other.
Share with each other what things you tend to do to bring a bit of comfort when you're feeling uncertain or when some circumstance has caused a bit of a depressed state of mind.
Have a chat about what you each do to make this holiday special and meaningful.
Are there any traditions that you are ready to give up to create time for new ones? If so, what would those be?
Advent is the beginning of the liturgical church year and is observed during the the four weeks before Christmas, (beginning on the fourth Sunday prior to Christmas) and is a time of preparation for celebrating the birth of Christ...do you have any special Advent traditions?
What are your favorite Christmas carols and songs...new and old?
Don't forget to think about different arrangements, groups, and artists.
Winter comfort foods - what are they and why? Set aside some days for cooking and tasting with each other - it will be fun!
Do you prefer something more traditional or less traditional?
(see the blog for some thoughts on this and a link to an article for you to read)
This would be a very good discussion to have...also talk about what 'gentlemanly behavior' means.
What traditions do you observe during Holy Week and on Easter Sunday?
What are your favorite jokes and funny stories?
Set aside some time to share these favorite things with each other over a glass of iced tea with pie, a picnic in the park, or a walk around the block. Enjoy!!
Share these fun memories with each other over a treat of frozen yogurt or coffee.
I realize this question borders on pet peeves, or even OCD - but... what do you do with those pesky things? (Isn't it nice when you are able to buy t-shirts that are tagless?!) Have a good chat about this!
Summer is almost here when lots of folks will be on the road... how do you like to pass the time? Listen to the radio or your own play list? Chat with your co-travelers? Play games like keeping track of license plates or VW bugs? Listen to recorded books or radio theater? Sit together in silence? Think about this and chat about your preferences.
Yes or no....why or why not??
If you do enjoy them, what are your favorite food items to cook / prepare and eat? Have a taste test to share your favorites with each other!
P.S. Check the Favorite Recipes page for Blueberry Cream Pie and Pinto Beans / Refried Beans recipes - you'll be glad that you looked!
If so, how often do you receive a thank you? Do you thank others when they do this for you?
Share what you think is the most difficult part of meeting new people. Chat about this and see if you can reduce any anxiety about meeting your beloved's family members.
We have a special birthday in our family this week. Share with each other what you think is the perfect birthday celebration.
Communication is key in any relationship. We've heard this for years...so, share with each other how you would rate yourself at listening, repeating back, wait time for responses, etc...
Chat about how often you like to entertain (if at all) and what you do to prepare for dinner guests, overnight guests, party guests, etc...
Do you enjoy interior home painting projects? Yes or no; why or why not?
What did you enjoy and dread about getting ready for and beginning a new school year?
Talk about the statements above and whether you agree or disagree. Think about some expectations that you have had which weren't met. Had you shared or voiced those expectations? Share some of these stories with each other.
Share with each other how you worked through this time.
If you were adopting a canine, would you choose a puppy that would need lots of attention and training, or an older dog who was already trained and more calm?
We have a 9 week old puppy in the house and we have just begun rehearsals for a fall musical. Either one of these causes a change in routine.... Share with each other how would you go about planning around these types of things for a few months.
If you didn't spend the day together, share about what you did and who you were with for the day, or part of the day. What did you enjoy? What did you not enjoy?
Spend some time thinking about this and then spend some time sharing and talking about your thoughts.
When you are eating foods such as tacos, pizza, or
sandwiches, which hand do you typically hold them in, and where do you
take the first bite? (center, left side, right side, crust or point for
I thought it would be fun to ask a lighter question this week. Enjoy! Perhaps 'test' some of these when you're eating together this week!
Take some time to revisit this episode then check the blog for a link to an article on resolving conflict - and involving God in the process.
Do you like to eat bell peppers? Raw or cooked? Do you have a favorite color?
Share these little details with each other!
Why or why not? When you do read, do you prefer print or digital versions? Do you like to browse in a bookstore, or online when you are in need of a book? Do you have a favorite genre?
Chat about all this for a bit and perhaps share some of your favorite books with each other.
Does it depend on the issue? Does it depend upon what else you have to accomplish that day? Or, do you just have a time limit regardless of other circumstances?
Men, tri-fold or bi-fold?
Ladies, how many nooks and crannies do you like for it to have?
Must it be a certain brand or made from a specific material?
Have fun chatting about this and sharing your preferences.
Do you prefer to vote on election day, or participate in early voting?
Did you vote?
Have you and your beloved discussed politics yet?
Take the leap and talk about the election that we just had here in America as well as your hopes for our future.
Set aside some time to think about this, and share your answers and thoughts with each other.
May your Thanksgiving be blessed!
Have you begun making your Christmas gift lists yet? How is your Christmas gift budget looking this year?
Share with each other what your normal process is for Christmas gift shopping and planning, and budgeting for this precious holiday.
Share these memories with each other and have a good time laughing together!
If you want to progress to memories that aren't so jovial, then share some of those too.
Share with each other if you attend these special worship services or not, and why.
Does it depend upon what or who you are waiting for, why, etc...?
Do you pray for elected officials?
Chat about why you think this is important or not.
Yes or no. Why or why not. If you do enjoy it, do you have some favorite spots that you would care to share with your beloved?
Why or why not?
If you do, what activities do you enjoy participating in on those days?
We've now entered Holy Week, so take some time to share with each other how you prepare for and celebrate Easter.
This question is about the physical features of a house. What style, floor plan, fixtures, etc... are must-haves for each of you?
How long has it been since you've asked this question of your beloved?
Think about this....how will each of your strengths be complimentary in your relationship?
Have a discussion and chat about your answers, along with why or why not.
You've probably got several favorite verses or even books of the Bible if you're like me.... Share some of these with each other along with why they are your favorite.
Whether it's a birthday or anniversary of some sort;